I got a phone call from the bank today. Seems M is trying to get another loan. The representative called today. She apologized for me not knowing anything about it, not ever knowing about any of them. M came through the door before she could tell me how much he was trying to borrow. M did tell me a few weeks ago that since interest is down he was going to look into consolidating. *sigh* I told him if it was anything requiring my signature he could forget it. He doesn't need one for a business loan. I don't get it. I am still responsible for any loans he has if something should happen to him. Why isn't my name needed then? He has been saying he wants a new Harley. I wonder if that money is added into the consolidation? I wouldn't have such a problem with this except that I know if his bills add up to $40,000 he will borrow $80,000. I'm trying not to let this bother me. Writing it here helps. I know no one else wants to hear about any more of his financial decisions. I just wish with all of my hearrt that I would've waited for God's best for me. Then I wouldn't have the kids I do and I don't ever want to wish them away so...........
On to my next gripe. My mom has many health problems. She takes 20+ prescriptions. I don't think she needs near that many. She runs to the doctor quite often. She goes for bloodwork once a month. He makes sure her prescriptions don't need adjusting. Then there is the nose, throat, ear doctor, allergy shots, dentists, eye doctor, mammograms twice yearly, and the list goes on. On top of that she is in the process of getting social security and I take her for groceries. This week I have to take her to three appts. I hate driving. I would love never to leave my house again. I'm tired of it. I have four kids that I homeschool. I have a home to clean and meals to make. I start feeling guilty then. What if something would happen to her? Somehow I knew as a very young child I would be the one taking care of her. I wrote it in an autobiography I had to do in about second grade. How did I know this? My father was still at home. I do have a younger brother. She tried giving me $40 yesterday because she said, "I know I'm a pain in the butt to have to drive all around." I didn't take it. She mentioned she didn't have anything else to give me. I told her to have my brother take her once in a while would be a big load off of me. She said she couldn't do that. She didn't say it but I know it's because he lives 20 miles away, she doesn't trust his driving, and he still drinks and smokes pot. I don't see my doctors like I should because I do enough running with her.
N just got up from her nap. I'm taking her to Storytime at the library this afternoon. Kind of funny after just complaining that I'd rather stay home. Believe me, it's a sacrifice of love to do this stuff. I don't get a lot of pleasure from it. I'm not even sure she likes it. lol
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