C

I wrote this email to someone today:

I am asking for advice this way because I am horribly embarrassed by what just happened between my son and I. I ask him questions throughout the day. I want to know how he's doing. He doesn't offer anything so it's my way of communicating with him. I do not see it as interrogation. I ask because I hope to start a conversation. He told me the other day I ask too many questions. My husband and sons and a man that my husband works with just came in to eat lunch today. When they were getting ready to leave I asked the man, B, something about his girlfriend. C, my son, and B were the only ones left in the house. Teasing C I said, "Oh, oh C. I asked B a question. Maybe I shouldn't do that, huh?" C went off on a total tirade saying how he hates coming home because of me, that I act stupid and I'm an effing (He doesn't say the word. That's what he said.) sped. I didn't say anything to C because I was so embarrassed. I don't know what in the world was going through B's head. He must think I am a terrible mother. I am so upset. I thought I would ground him until the weekend then I thought a week wouldn't be uncalled for. When people are mean to me I have a tendency to shut them out. My defense is that I build a wall and eventually I don't care what they say. I could hear my mind battling it out. "Tell him to get out when he's 18. Only talk to him when you have to." As his mom, I am fighting against doing that. I love him and I don't know why he seems to hate me so much. I tend to think he's a good kid because he's responsible, doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs, or really swear, but this was so out of line. I don't know what to do about it. I feel like a failure as a mom, stupid, and like the world would be better off without me. Just over that exchange. What would you have done?

This is the answer I received:

Well, Since you wrote me off line, I am thinking you want a straight answer... So, no sugar coating. It is terribly hard as a mom to let them grow up (Remember mine are 25, 22 and 20!) but it is time to let go. You need to apologize to C for all the questions and for embarrassing HIM in front of another man.

I strongly recommend you try to curb your desire to know everything that is happening in his life - trust me, you don't REALLY want to know everything! Time to turn him TOTALLY over to God... And PRAY for him, not interrogate him. Put a lock on you lips, my friend. Pray before speaking. Show sweetness in your actions and you will win him over.

Loose lips don't just sink ships, they ruin trust. I know, sweet friend.... Been there.... Done that.

You cannot believe how much worse I feel. I really do want to know. I want us to be close. I haven't talked to my father in 30 years. I would hate for that to happen with C and I. He is 17. I am supposed to let him go? My job is done?? Good grief. Thankfully, I have A and N yet or I would be worthless!
I am afraid to talk to him at all. What if I say something else wrong? Why shouldn't he be held accountable for talking to me like that? I don't know. I have been hearing a few differences of opinions lately about a few things. If I have been wrong about a few things, am I doing anything right???

*sigh*

Lone Survivor by Marcus Luttrell

I just finished reading this book and I want to shout to the world to read it too! It should definitely be required reading for history in every American school. I had to make myself put it down. I would've read it in one sitting. I learned exactly why the liberal media and the left are putting our guys (and gals) in the military in danger with their silly rules. Their rules of engagement don't work in a war! It's the story of the worst day in SEAL history. Marcus was the only survivor of Operation Redwing in the mountains of Afghanistan. Our pastor recommended it to us. I am so proud of Marcus! I am so proud of all of those serving our country! I am so proud to be an American!